Mindfulness | Acceptance and Celebration of Feelings |
Here is a story to share that I read when I was taking mindfulness course last month. It is about two toddlers - a little girl and a little boy at a birthday party, playing in the sandbox, digging, eating and having a good time. All of sudden, the boy takes off and runs back inside the house, leaving the girl alone. She bursts into tears. She's angry that her friend decided not to play anymore . And here comes the Mom, rushing to her girl "Don't cry! Don't cry ! "
We have all been there right?
You are hanging out with someone, thinking all is great, and then suddenly they're gone. So here's the mom, comes running to her girl looking for something to comfort her child saying "stop crying baby, here is a cookie"
So what do you think the girl learn to internalize ? she learns that feelings cause people to be upset and she should not cry , and the way to stop herself from feeling is to have a cookie.
So you could imagine how this incident had produced a limiting belief and caused disorder in her eating pattern in the future .
We have been conditioned to be scared of emotions and it affected our emotional/mental health. You're considered weak if you feel your emotions and strong if you don't. Don't you think it takes a lot of courage and strength to deal with painful emotions? Here is the truth cookies don't take away feelings. Yes they can numb the feelings for a short time but you can't :
stuff them down
starve them away
drink them away
gamble them away or even use positive thinking to get rid of them .
There is only one way to get rid of feelings . Any ideas?
The little girl at the party, if the mother had just said "yes honey, it hurts, it is hard, I know how you feel when friends leave you and take your things, if she'd said that , then the girl would have a had a good cry and felt better.
The only way to get rid of the feelings is to actually feel them.
We need to accept that feelings are just reactions, messengers of the soul.
Feelings are not personality flaws and that something is wrong with you.
If you get angry, you are not an angry person, you're a person who is just angry now.
We need to accept our emotions and acknowledge them and not reprimand them.
We must accept tears, and accept fears.
Nothing destroys your mental health i.e self worth, self-acceptance faster than denying what you feel.
Honor your feelings, allow your feelings and welcome them as teachers . Every emotion bring good news even the painful ones.
Stuffing your feelings often means that the way to happiness is stuffed away, too.
Accept everything you feel today, because emotions are a sign that you are human.
Accept that you are alive and not only living but experiencing life and allowing yourself to expand and grow.
Anything that you resist persists, and if feelings stuffed away they will always surface again and again until you become aware of the message then it won't affect you.
And that's the healthy perspective , don't you think?
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