How do stillness somehow make me anxious?
I love routine
Until I’m bored then I love excitement
Until I’m overwhelmed then I love routine
If this sounds more like you, read on….
As a person who is prone to anxiety and constant moving
and the pattern of hustling and over-doing
I have found that the truth of all
is that I did not like HERE.
Here was not a place to trust.
Here was not safe ( as a child I always had to move due to the civil war in Lebanon)
Here is a place where I become visible
Here was not enough.
Here was about missing out what is happening somewhere else in the world
Here was about boredom and lack of excitement
Here was not a place that I thought I can handle with my eyes open
Here was stickiness and stuck-ness
Here was not deserving
Here was not freedom
I believed that my happiness is simply not here
It is not in my routine
Home and grounds are not safe place for me
This week in NYC I attended a workshop about chakras and gained a new framework for seeing
my moving pattern and how to make more peace with the here and now
Make peace with what is on my plate
my routine, structure and stillness
Allow myself to SIT in my power
Make peace with being more visible
There is no way of fulfilment if I keep moving
Now there is nothing wrong with moving, actually one of my strengths is my vital energy
but here’s the thing, It has to branch out from a secure rooted place to amplify my creativity and productivity
I want to practice more stillness in the coming weeks
I want to surrender to the gift of this moment
I want to make every moment perfect and precious
Like the great Zen saying “to one who finds stillness, the whole universe surrenders “
Do you experience that too?
Do you see the power in finding your stillness?