STAY PUT (Stopping the cycle of fleeing and seeking pleasure)
I want to talk about the power of stay -stay here in this moment especially when you get an urge to go on a habitual cycle, an urge to do the old unhealthy behaviors, an urge to binge or run to the fridge, an urge to be mean to yourself and others,
As a person who is prone to compulsive behaviors and anxiety .. worse for me, is when a feeling of nothing-ness or emptiness , a feeling of sadness/silence comes up for no apparent reason. FEELINGS like “I hate this,” “What’s wrong with me?” or “What if I get stuck for another long spell?” II‘ve always had the pattern to flee, avoid, and escape reality. I thought I was someone who is super curious and innovative, (there is some truth to that) but the fact is I did not like here. Here was not a place to trust.
Here was not enough.
here was about missing out
here was about boredom and lack of excitement
Here was not a place that I thought I can handle with my eyes open; here is stickiness -stuckiness
here was not deserving for me
Here was a place that I cant be visible
I believed that my happiness is not here - it is outside my body - and the faster I run away, the higher are my chances to find myself. to find happiness
Recently I noticed that here is about aging and death , here is not alive
KEN WILBER IN "NO BOUNDARY" , STATES THAT “FEW OF US HAVE LOST OUR MINDS , BUT MOST OF US HAVE LONG AGO LOST OUR BODIES “.
He suggests that we ride our body much like someone rides a horse.
we do not always pay attention to our bodies. We do not want to stay in our bodies.
We completely disconnect from the information it’s offering us
We use our body purely as a vehicle to move you around ?
The body is a powerful resource, and has a natural intelligence that can offer a new depth of learning about yourself. when we run from here , leave our body , we disconnect from " inner knowing", "small voice" "gut feeling ".
There is no way of winning - if we keep fleeing
Coming home is the only way- Here - right here- Your Body- is your home.
Coming home is about accepting reality as it is , is about making peace with this existential challenge
I know at times, STAYING is a painful truth we all want to escape it , numb it, become addicted to all kinds of external guilt pleasures just not to deal with it, use brain to manipulate it. To stay here is not enough,here is I don’t want to stop last bite because I can’t deal with the emptiness, here is not my happiness,
but what if you stay here with what’s on your plate , pay attention to how the food tastes, notice your body sensations, where is it easy to breath , what’s on your hand_ your book _ pay attention to your friend, take time with what you love _ trust that here is enough _ What if stay with is about claiming what you want, and valuing what you have?
Our Body knows how to process trauma and can heal if we just allow ourselves to stay in body - if we just trust ourselves.- and surrender to our hungers, to your pain, to your struggles,then we might be surprised , LIKE THE GREAT ZEN SAYING “to one who finds stillness, the whole universe surrenders
Will you honor your body and stay ?